A little over three years ago, due to a car accident, I broke my neck and suffered a spinal cord injury. Some of the people in my life tried to contact me in one way or the other. The remaining, either due to not knowing how to or for their own personal reasons, never reached out. For these three years, I distanced myself from the ones who did reach out and developed a personal grudge against the ones who didn't.
This injury changed my life in ways more than one able-bodied person could ever imagine. But at the same time it made me selfish. It made me so self-centered that all I saw was my good decisions and the justifications of the bad ones. I never tried to put myself in the shoes of other people. I assumed since they are not the ones going through what I was going through, life was all enjoyable for them. But the truth was, I never went through what they went through. I surrounded myself with people so negative, deceitful and spurious that my decisions reflected that. But this is not an excuse - I was the one to make those decisions and I'm the only person responsible for it.
So I would like to apologize. Publicly. For distancing myself from people due to my own selfish reasons. For not understanding that it's absolutely human for people to not know the right words or to try to solve the problems their way. For judging people without asking their side of the story. For not being a better person.
This is not how I was raised.
Sometimes we're just so blinded by our ignorance that we start living in a world that only revolves around us. It's so easy for us for talk behind people's backs or to paint an entire picture of someone based on someone else's description. It's so easy to victimize ourselves on the expense of someone else's reputation. While we try to change the world, embrace our successes and celebrate our victories, we're okay with somebody somewhere suffering from our actions and reactions.
I'm extremely grateful to the ones who've accepted my apology and I can only hope that the rest would as well. I can't guarantee that I would be able to fix everything but I can tell you that it is a work in progress. They say ignorance is bliss. And it was, until a recent meditation session showed me the other side, which made me disgust myself. So here I am, with a hope and faith that was very recently restored within me by someone very new in my life, expecting to make a better person out of myself.
Rest assured, this weighs more to me than any of my worldly accomplishments.
Published on: 20th March, 2016.